Once a year, there is a battle in Europe. Every country carefully and democratically selects their warriors well in advance, subjecting them to rounds of gruelling competition and then months of strenuous training. The pride of every European nation falls on their contestants coming out on top, as there is no greater measure of success or popularity. Yes, we’re talking about the Eurovision song contest.
In line with a proud British tradition of Eurovision entrants, including Jemini, Gina G and Javine Hylton, the people of Britain have selected worthy and established boyband, Blue, to try to bring home the prize.
However, they may be beaten to the post, as the people of Ireland have chosen a seemingly infallible pair to compete in Eurovision 2011. These two are thick-skinned, energetic and have hair as bright as the sun and as tall as the sky – and they’re going to win (according to Louis Walsh)! We are, of course, referring to John and Edward Grimes, better known as ‘Jedward’.
For those of you who have the misfortune of being unfamiliar with Jedward, the identical teenage twins rose to fame during 2009’s X Factor competition in the UK. Week after week they stunned judges and viewers alike with their resilience. Like the villain in a horror movie who just won’t die, Jedward could not be voted off – even winning the protection and approval of Simon Cowell himself. They achieved all of this, despite the conspicuous absence of their vocal abilities.
We feel that these qualities of perseverance and determination guarantee that Ireland will avoid the dreaded nil points at Eurovision. Although Blue are strong contenders, Britain has a reputation for sinking with half-hearted has-beens and this could be the year that Ireland comes out on top. We’ll even go so far as to say that 2011 could one day be referred to as ‘the year of Jedward’.
As much as Eurovision promotes healthy competition, it also unites us in a mesh of cultures bound together by a commitment to tuning problems and flamboyant outfits – and at the end of the day, no matter who comes out victorious, the whole of Europe will be tuning into Dusseldorf at the same time, brought together by a tradition so ancient it’s practically innate. Viva Eurovision – may the best obscure, C-list pop star win!