Things Clients (Might) Say
When you’re a recruiter, you hear all sorts of things on the phone both from candidates clients! Below are some of the most amusing things that I have heard before and no, I did not exaggerate one bit:
“So yeah, the person that we’re looking for is definitely dynamic and funny. It’s very much about the cultural fit. We have a great and unique atmosphere in the team and go out for dinner or drinks after work from time to time. The candidate has to fit in.”
“Previous experience of the perfect person? Yes, what we need are candidates who have done 10-15 internships during their bachelor’s. They need to have sold similar products on at least 8 continents and be a member of Rotary or Lion’s Club. And the Managing Partner is flying in tomorrow. Can we interview the first people then?
“Well, you know. What we always want.”
“The last person in this job was great and well liked by everybody. She was the good heart of our office, put away everybody’s dishes, gladly worked weekends, and bought birthday presents with her own money. She always answered the phone, never complained, and just ‘got’ what this company is all about. We were honestly surprised to see her go to our competitor. We didn’t even pay that much less than the market rate. Long story short – we need somebody just like that. We’re running out of toilet paper as well.”
“We’re looking for a tiger-ninja-space rocket-sales rep. Someone who has a track record of smashing the target by a whopping 350 percent. Self-driven, money-motivated, entrepreneurial personality. Office hours are 9-6 but we like to see dynamic people who are willing to go the extra mile for this soon-to-be unicorn company. Between us, our name and standing in the industry should make the search really easy for you, it will be some great placements for you. Any questions?”
“Actually it’s still really flexible. I have to talk to the team leader again first and see if he made up his mind. I haven’t seen him in like two weeks. Maybe you can just send us your best people and we can go from there? The interview process should be really fast.”